wahhhh this is going to be like the loneliest most boring week of my life.
I feel really shitty about everything lately. No one is as close to me as they used to be, and I don’t really understand why. I just feel really lonely :(
Neither of us are perfect, and guess how many fucks I give? Zero, bro.
I just want to be waking up next to you in the morning, telling you your breath is stanky, but kissing you anyway. Having days where the most important question will be whether we mostly play Minecraft or zombies.
I really can’t explain why I feel the way I do about you, but it’s there, and I truly mean it when I say I could wake up to your adorable face for as many mornings as you’d let me.
I just now realized how much I DON’T miss having to defend every thought or opinion that I have. Just one simple conversation brought me back to remembering everything I hated about him. I guess I was stupid for thinking that being friends with him would be different. At least I’ve changed since then though. I’m not so passive and I put my feelings first.. well, most of the time.
But really.. who the fuck cares if I don’t want to play a certain game, or listen to a certain song? SMD, THX.
I’m so grateful for who I (kinda) have now.
I think for my birthday present to myself, I’m going to make mini Adventure Time cakes :) In my head they look pretty sweet.
I feel like ass and don’t want to work, and I could leave early probably, but I really can’t because my moms stupid lover thing is coming over today.. so, that’s gross.
Please don’t change your mind again bro.
ps - I’m way too excited to play Minecraft again. letsdoit.
I’m basically forcing myself to hang out with people this weekend. It’s kinda shitty though, besides the ONE person I’d obviously love to see, there’s really only one other person I’ve been stuck on and it’s always ridiculously hard to hang out with him. We get along great though, and we’d totes be cute together, and he has Adventure Time comics for me to read.. and swoopy hair. I love me some swoopy hair.
So tonight I might go see The Avengers with my mom. My ex hinted at wanting to go see it.. well actually no, he said he didn’t want to, but he would for me.. or some stupid crap. But I can’t bring myself to say yeah totes let’s hang out! I was really comfortable with him, so I know what would happen, and that shouldn’t happen.
Tomorrow I’m hanging out with James. I don’t really want to, but I’m making myself, because I know the only reason why I don’t want to is because I’m being a sad stupid face about everything. He wants to play minecraft though, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I still don’t really like him though.. I mean I do, he’s good looking, and nice, but he’s too good for me. He’s ridiculously smart, he comes from a good family.. His life is just in order. My life is chaos. As much as I pretend it’s always going to be okay, sometimes it just isn’t. Sometimes you have weeks where every. single. fucking. thing goes wrong. That doesn’t mean I should stop my life to dwell on all of it. I used to be so good at picking myself up and being happy with what I do have.
One of my bffs is moving near me so I’m pretty excited about that. It’ll be nice to have someone to hang out with more often! We’re probs just gonna get high a lot. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that yo. Thursday my mom told me she’d get high with me haha, cause she knew I was really fucking upset about everything.. sadly I don’t have any w33d. I really want to see my mom baked :( It’d be hilarious.
I’m trying my hardest to be strong for you right now. As much as it fucking kills me to see your face knowing it’ll never be mine to kiss, it kills me even more knowing you’re upset and not sleeping. The best friend side of me can’t let that happen.
I’m tired and all I really want right now are some chicken nuggets.
Maybe its the lack of sleep. Or the 3oh3 playing in my head… I’m losing it. I don’t know why I made myself choose. Hahaha yep yep photo finish, we always finish first that’s why we rap in the first place. Oh god why did I make myself choose. I wish I would just explode like a creeper. Ssssssssss boom! Hahahaha and I turned on the speech thing on here so itll randomly say a word I’m typing. Fuck you too phone
Why was this so adorable :(
I LOST, I COULDN’T EVEN GO 24 HOURS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOU IN SOME WAY.